Some who do not believe in the existence of mental illness
claim that if we just had better communication internally, with ourselves, we wouldn’t be ill. I also believe
there is some validity in the point of view that these people hold.
We often have trouble knowing how we feel. Feelings can come all jumbled together. At
times our words and body language contradict each other, although this is by no means limited to us with a mental illness.
The behaviors we sometimes exhibit seem, at times, to come from nowhere, dragging us in directions unknown . Often we often
don’t have a clue as to why they are occurring. At times, they come out in such bizarre force and form that we find
them easier to ignore than address.
Acceptance
of having a mental illness is a major step in recovery. This does not mean however, that we must accept that bizarre behaviors
will always be a part of our lives. Perhaps one of the best tool for getting in touch with our conflicted emotions,
feelings and beliefs, is journaling.
Journal
writing brings up emotions; pain, hurt, sadness, anger, love, heartbreak. It helps in sorting out various conflicting emotions.
It also brings up issues and emotions you may have forgotten about or never understood. As you recognize their existence,
they become easier to deal with; and to accept as part of your life’s experiences.
The best time of the day to write in a journal is as soon as you wake up. Some prefer
first to make a cup of coffee, or tea and then start writing, while perhaps nibbling on a piece of pastry. Others wait for
that cup of coffee until they finish writing in the journal and consider the hot fragrant brew a reward. It allows you to
access your feeling before they get cluttered up with the rigors of daily life. But, anytime of the day is better than no
time. Write for twenty minutes. Some prefer to write for a minimum of three pages. That’s okay. You make the rules.
When I first went back to work after nearly ten years on disability, I got up at 4 AM in order to spend
fifteen or twenty minutes writing in my journal before getting dressed and going out to catch a bus to get to work by 5:30.
Of course, at that time, a late night was 8:30 or 9:00. I felt better on the days I wrote. Like everyone who journals, occasionally
I’d miss a day.
Start each day’s journal with a positive
affirmation; I love you; I have harmony within me; I have great potential; I have mental health. Some start
each day with writing a positive affirmations over and over again, filling three to five lines before writing anything else.
Writing I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you,
I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you I love you, I love you, I love you, I love
you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, for example can
alter the circuits in you brain so you begin feeling love and compassion for yourself.
The journal is yours and should probably not be read by anyone else. It’s perfectly acceptable to hide it each
day, if you think someone might snoop. Or, lock it away someplace. Some even destroy each day’s writing after their
journaling session.
Each
of us has an internal
editor. Some of us have stronger names for this critical voice. Don’t say that, You misspelled that,
That’s not right,
That’s stupid,
etcetera, etcetera, etcetera. Turn him, or her
off. Easier said than done, I know. One way to partially avoid your internal editor is to write quickly.
As much as possible, put down whatever you’re
feeling without any editing. Forget misspellings, ignore lousy handwriting, don’t concern yourself with punctuation.
None of that stuff matters in your journal.
Writing affirmations can trigger a different and sometime opposite thoughts or feelings
to arise. It is okay to write them down as well. Don’t dwell on them. Write them down and let them go. Even unpleasant
thoughts that come need a place to go. The journal is the best place for them until you are able to dismiss them from your
mind as soon as they begin to arise.
In some way what you’re doing is taking out the trash
that’s accumulated during a lifetime. Cleaning up your inner emotional life and making it nice enough to invite others
in also allows you to be creative.
Most people who journal claim that after a few weeks, they start feeling better
about themselves.
